it really sucks having a boyfriend and still having no one to talk to when i feel like this

too bad no one loves me and i have no friends and no money  #fuckboredom

i like how my boyfriend hangs out with his gay lover instead of me when i have days off

i’m pathetic and i need a life

It just feels like there’s no meaning to anything anymore, nothing to hold on to. No one I can tell things to but you, yet I have to walk on eggshells around you because you get mad a lot. I feel like I could lose you any day, for some reason, and I feel super clingy and wish you would react more than you do. I’m scared because I don’t know what I’m fighting for anymore and i need you to help me feel secure since I can’t be secure in myself. It’s different from when I was happy because i could pay more attention, but now  it doesn’t feel as sweet and i can’t enjoy what i have because i’m too busy thinking of how much better in used to be. but how can i tell you all this when it won’t make sense? i feel like i’m in a locked cage writing notes and pushing them through the bars, begging people to read them. I don’t even know if there’s a problem at all other than that I feel super fucking lonely and cold, like a robot just going through the motions. I know it’ll get better, but right now I can’t stand it.

don’t expect me to be a certain way or say certain things then get mad at me when its not what you wanted. i’m tired of feeling like a disappointment.

and it scares the shit out of me.